When I was a little girl, I loved Cinderella. Maybe it’s because I thought a prince would one day sweep me off my feet, and we would live happily in his castle forever. Maybe it’s because I wanted to go to balls and wear shiny jewelry. Who knows. I thought, “This love can stand the test of time.” But, let’s all take off our glass slippers and be honest: real world love isn’t about that.
The truth is castles are cold and drafty, and back in those times, they didn’t have indoor plumbing and water that turned hot with a twist of a handle.
I don’t want a prince to sweep me off my feet (well.. maybe a little bit). What I want is something real and tangible.
Men say that they never know what women want, but it’s really pretty simple. Here are ten items:
- We want to be supported, just as we want to support you.
- When we talk, we want to be listened to, not just heard
- We want you to talk to us (we don’t always want to start the conversation)
- When we say something like, “Wow. This is so amazing! I love this.” That means buy it for us if it’s achievable and realistic. Not right then, but maybe for our birthday (you’ll get props for remembering).
- We want to be touched (not just sexually). Hold our hand, move our hair out of our face, give us a peck on the forehead, cheek, or hand. These little moments make us feel loved.
- Don’t lie to us. Not out of fear of getting caught, but out of respect for us.
- Ask us out on a date. Though we love to plan things, sometimes it’s nice to have a night planned for us.
- Remember our favorite things (or things like food dislikes and likes)
- Tell us we look beautiful. (Sexy is nice on occasion, but it gets old after a while).
- If you love us, don’t just tell us.. show us.
And, here’s an overall statement for both men and women:
Don’t be afraid to love. If you’ve been hurt in the past, it’s hard to let go of those fears, but by letting go and trusting someone with your heart, you’re allowing yourself to grow as a person. Yeah, it may still hurt, but think about the good stuff. Realize that because of that person, you have become someone else.. someone stronger.
Stronger doesn’t mean shutting people out. Stronger means having the courage to love again. Stronger means letting go of someone or something that is pulling you down, holding you back from all the great things that you could do. Being supportive is number one on my list because, when you find the person you’re meant to be with, they will push you forward and believe in you no matter what. They want your happiness as much as they want theirs.
Just because something is familiar doesn’t mean it’s right for you and your life. Find yourself first, then you’ll be able to find someone else.
And if all else fails, remember.. I believe in you.