The internet is truly a wonderful thing… for the most part. However, on the flip side, it does opens doors for lies, misinformation, and jealousy.
One bit of this that has frequenting my FB feed more and more is “Relationship goals.”
These are stories and pictures of what we all wish to achieve in our relationships, but sometimes it goes further than that. We start comparing our relationships to these pictures and stories. They look and feel inferior, and we find ourselves wanting more. Sometimes we push forward; other times, we look elsewhere.
We, as a society, have become quite materialistic; a fact that can been witnessed every time Apple releases a newer version of whatever is out there. People who have perfectly working phones, tablets, watches, etc. will line up in the streets simply to get the next best thing.
Have we become so materialistic that we consider our relationships an accessory to our lives? We are constantly bombarded with information about other couples, better couples. They’re the iPhone upgrade commercials for our relationships. Why continue to be happy with what you have when you can achieve a better level of happiness with someone else?
But then… maybe you don’t. Everyone know that new phones contain glitches that the older ones had worked out. It’s okay, though, a new upgrade will come through in another couple of months; just bide your time.
I’m not saying that it’s unhealthy to continue to build a relationship, to hope to reach a different level of intimacy with the one you’re with. In fact, that is great. The problem arises when we find ourselves wishing for unattainable wants because we read a story or saw a movie or scrolled past a picture on FB, Instagram, or the Twittersphere.
Stop for a moment and realize that you are yearning for one moment in time. A picture can say a thousand words, but it still only captures that one moment. Ever smiled for a camera and then found yourself crying shortly thereafter?
A glimpse into one moment of someone’s life isn’t all encapsulating of the relationship. It’s merely a sentence in their story, and on the internet, your story can become whatever version you want it to be.
The same goes for movies, TV shows, and books.
I’m guilty of it, for sure. I read these books and watch these movies and imagine what life would be like if my prince would sweep me away from this place. I mean, heck, I’d even be happy with half of the love shared between RDJ’s Tony Stark and Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner.
However, this is just another level of accessorizing our lives. As if we didn’t have enough to live up to, now we are expected/expecting to live up to the relationships that have been deemed “relationship goal” worthy.
You know them: Elizabeth and Darcy, Marshall and Lily, Gatsby and Daisy, Aurora and Phillip, Chandler and Monica, Jim and Pam, Zoe and Wash, and the list continues throughout all of history/literature.
But you know what makes these couples great? What makes their relationship so perfect that we can’t help but wish we could be like them?
They’re not real. *gasp*
Unlike our relationships in real life, theirs is built from some of the greatest creative minds sitting in room developing a story-line, a personality, and a relationship. Theirs is written. Ours is lived.
So, we can go on wishing for an impossible goal, or we can toss aside these societal expectations and dreams and find someone real. Someone tangible.
Stop wanting the newest trend in relationships and find someone that you want to know. That you wouldn’t want a predictable storybook ending with. Find someone you want support their dreams and stand next to while they achieve them.
Find someone you want to share adventures with, whether it’s just going grocery shopping or backpacking around Europe together. Every new experience should be cherished; you’re making memories.
Find someone that feels this way for you as well, and I promise you, though there may be fights and crying from time to time, that relationship will be better than all the fictional relationships combined.
Stop accessorizing and start loving again.