Honesty.

saam_logo-tealribbon

My social media has been covered up with talks of sexual assault and “locker room talk.” I thought that now would be a good time to address it if I ever were going to in public. I’ve never really talked about my experiences. Not for fear of rejection or embarrassment. I just don’t really like talking to people… and this would kind of force me to.

I have been sexually assaulted. Multiple times. I’ve always thought of myself as lucky because it’s never escalated to a point that I couldn’t get away from. Then I realized: if I feel lucky simply because I haven’t been beaten and raped… possibly murdered, what does that say about our society?

The first time it happened, I was at a bar with friends. I hadn’t been drinking because I was the DD, but I was waiting on my date to come out from the restroom. Someone came up on me from behind, grabbed me, and said, “Mmm.. girl that ass makes me want to do something,” I quickly moved away and the guy went to pursue me further before my date came out of the room. The stranger slipped away when I looked back at my date. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I just moved on with my life. I thought he may have been drunk… or maybe he thought that I was someone else. I was young and foolish.

The next time, I was having a party at my house. Several of my coworkers and friends were over, and we were all having a grand ole time. One of my coworkers had previously flirted with me, but I didn’t really think anything of it. I had no interest in him, and honestly, I didn’t really feel like his interest lay much further than the reaches of a bed. He followed me up to my room when I went to grab something and began kissing me. I pushed him away, but he pulled me close again and shoved his tongue down my throat and began groping me. I shoved him harder and told him to leave. “Luckily” for me, he did.

Another time, couldn’t be explained away by alcohol, because it was coworker at another job a couple years later. He asked me to step outside with him (which wasn’t unusual since there was storage out back). Once we were outside, he pressed me up again the wall, kissed me, and slid his hand down in between my legs. I told him to stop, and he told me that I flirted with the other guys, why wouldn’t I let him do things to me. He kissed me again and began to unbuckle my belt, and I tried to get away. I finally pushed hard enough to break contact and moved quickly away from him. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him or that ever again. I wasn’t sure what to do because out of the times before this, I hadn’t really considered them as someone I could trust and respect. He was supposed to be. That day, he lost my respect, but more than that, I felt disgusted. Disgusted at myself, at him, at the situation entirely. He did apologize the next day, and luckily, he wasn’t a part of my life for much longer.

To this day, I get uncomfortable when a man compliments me for my physical attributes. I can’t help but connect what they say to some of the things that have happened to me.

So, when you talk about Trump’s behavior and what he said as “locker room talk,” you’re being naïve. I have no doubt in my mind that he has actually taken action against women. I have no doubt in my mind that he has done what he was “bantering” about. He’s disgusting.

You can sit here and talk about what Bill Clinton has or hasn’t done or all the terrible things that Hillary might be guilty of, but when you are handed a confession from the horse’s mouth… don’t try to deny that it’s there. And don’t try to make it seem like just because others have done bad things, that it forgives Trump for what he’s done.

It’s not locker room talk. It’s sexual assault. Donald Trump was admitting openly to sexually assaulting women. Maybe he got away with it because he was rich, but that doesn’t mean those women wanted any part of him near them. Fear and intimidation would be enough to keep them quiet.

If you want to sit here and tell me it was 11 years ago, fantastic. I want you to go find a rape victim from 11 years ago. I want you to ask them how they feel about what happened to them. These are not just words that he was saying. He is giving you a window into who he truly is.

He’s that guy in the bar that grabbed my butt. He’s the coworker that followed me to my room. He’s my other coworker who tried to rape me during working hours. He is a disgusting pig who should not be allowed to be President.

Don’t start with the “but Hillary.” This isn’t about her. I’m not supporting her in this post. I am not comparing him to her. This is about him. This is about the fact that there is no limit to this man’s depravity. I hate to even refer to him as a man, as it’s an insult to his gender.

I don’t care if you don’t vote for Hillary Clinton, but if you vote for Donald Trump, you are perpetuating a society that allows rapists like Brock Turner to be set free after serving only 3 months for raping a girl—a case that had two witnesses.

So, tell me again about this locker room banter. Tell me again about how women take things like this too seriously. Tell me again how we are going to explain our decision not only to the world, but to every female who lives, or who has yet to live. These are not just words. He is showing you who he truly is. Don’t be blind to it simply because your hate of the other party’s candidate.

If you vote for Donald Trump, you are telling men all over the country that what they do to women, what has been done to me, is okay because they can still be successful no matter the destruction they reign down upon the women/people around them.

Advertisements

Would You Like Fries with that Hate?

Alright, USA, it’s time for a change. See those fingers you’re pointing? Stop it. See those angry generalizations you’re writing, saying, etc.? Stop it. Do you actually think that only one party will fix what’s wrong with this country? Don’t cling to your party simply because it’s what you’ve always done. Don’t think about the other party’s flaws. Think about it realistically. Can one person/one party get this country back on track? If you’re nodding, stop it. I want you to read this next sentence slowly and think about it for a minute.

Do you want the United States of America to be a better place to live?

To fix this country, everyone—every citizen—has to do their part, and not just by casting a vote.

Don’t argue. Don’t say, “But this..” or “But that…” No.

Going once every two/four years to change the course of this country isn’t going to cut it anymore. That’s not unlike going to the gym and eating a salad once a month and then eating fast food the rest of the month. Your body appreciates that day, but you’re not really doing something to change. You’re doing it to be able to say, “Yeah, I work out, so I don’t really know why I keep gaining weight.” IT’S THE FAST FOOD!

The US is currently on that diet… except our fast food is hate and fear. We like to cover our diet up by pretending that we’re working out(voting), but this country is gaining fat like there’s no tomorrow… and there may not be.

We don’t love anymore. We say we “love” our country, but that’s the same as when we said we “loved” our middle school boyfriend/girlfriend (yes there are exceptions.. move on). And unlike Captain America, when we doodle “USA” on our Trapper Keeper, we don’t mean it.

Instead, we’ve gone to the dark side. We gave the emperor what he wanted. We gave in to the fear and hate, and now it fuels us. Now, it’s all we know. Some people hate Conservatives. Some people hate Liberals.

When people say these words, their disdain drips off of the words like the grease off freshly fried bacon. Our disdain is clogging the arteries of the US, and if we don’t fix that, Uncle Sam is going to need a Triple Bypass soon.

Stop pointing fingers. We’re in this together, and we need to start acting like it. Spewing hate isn’t how we’re going to fix this country. We fix it by setting aside our biases, our judgements, our prejudices and taking the hand of the person next to us.

When you close your eyes and open your hearts, great things can be accomplished. You don’t know if they’re Black, White, Asian, Straight, Gay, Transgender, Male, Female, Old, Young, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, etc. No. You don’t know these things because you’re less blind with your eyes closed. You see them as human. There’s no static, no visual discrepancies, when your eyes are closed. We are no longer seeing what the media and political candidates have been conning us into seeing. We connect with them because we are all one. We are not afraid of them; we do not hate them.

We cannot change this country for the better by fearing someone or something that we don’t understand. We cannot change this country by hating people. If you do not agree with someone, that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with not agreeing with someone, but you should try to realize that their lives have gone down a different path than yours. Their reasoning for believing/doing what they do is because of that.

We cannot change this country for the better by hating people. Hate actions. I hate the violence that goes on in this country. I hate that we cling to our guns and threaten lives. It’s your right to have a gun, and I don’t believe it should be taken away. That fact doesn’t mean that I don’t hate gun violence, that I don’t think we need some serious changes.

We shout at people for “Black Lives Matters” because black people are killing black people, but we shout that because we don’t understand what it really is that they want. It’s education and a better way of life. Poorer neighborhoods have higher crime because life is a struggle and because education is still a luxury. We turn a blind eye to these neighborhoods because we’re not in them, and then we shout that they are animals when they lash out at us.

We shout at Police officers because of the deaths they cause, but we don’t stop to think about those that don’t kill people. Police Officers, good Police Officers, are out there. They are doing the right thing. We cannot latch onto the extreme cases and generalize. These people put their lives on the line every day to try to help serve their communities. Does it give them the right to kill because they’re scared? No, but not all are trigger happy. The majority of these men and women are honorable people. We cannot forget that simply because some have chosen a less honorable path.

We shout at the LGBTQ+ community because their existence disgusts us. How dare they find someone in their life to care about as much as we care about our significant other? How dare they trample on your religion? How dare they use the bathroom? Here’s the thing: they’re not doing it for you or to you. They are living their lives as they see fit… just as you are. If you think they’re in for eternal damnation, well that’s something that they will have to deal with if it comes to be (which I don’t think it will). Making their lives feel like Hell. That’s on you. What’s that famous saying about stones and glass houses?

We shout Muslims because we fear them. That’s what it is, ya know? Fear. We are taught that them and people that look like them are out to kill us like the modern day boogey man. We hate them because they need to escape from a war that we started. I’m not sure if we hate them more because of our prejudices or because they remind us of our mistakes. However, I would eat that handful of Skittles because if I had to sacrifice my life so that thousands upon thousands of innocent men, women, and children could survive… it would be worth it. My life is no more or less important than theirs. We make that argument about abortion, ya know? “What if that unborn child had the cure to cancer?” We don’t think about the possibility that we could be having the next Jim Jones or Jeffrey Dahmer. No. We think the best about that child. Now, what if one of those refugees had the cure to cancer inside their mind waiting to learn and discover it? Is an unborn cluster of cells more important than a living human being? No.

If I could meet every person in this world that has been discriminated against, I would hug them, which is probably nearly every person in this world. Think about a time when you were discriminated against. Remember that feeling? Now, every time you meet a person, know that they, too, have had that feeling—or worse. If we want to make the country.. NAY! the world a better place, it starts by looking in the mirror and changing us first. Put down the burger, America, and let’s go to the gym.